CAPTAINS LOG    Day1                                              
         

My first day on this planet and I must say it has been a bewildering experience. These earthlings believe in doing things they do not enjoy doing in order to feel good about themselves? Maybe its some form of masochistic streak they have inside them. This female earthling i have been observing has two beasts caged up like prisoners in her brothers barn. Everyday she strolls up there and and shovels up their faeces on to a wheel barrow and dumps it on to a mountain of shit she has accumulated outside the barn. Maybe she has some use for this waste or it may be used as currency on this planet,,, who knows? I dare not ask her why. Occasionally she jumps on the back of the bigger of the two beasts  and parades around the little village with a whip in her hand whilst the animal carries her. I noticed the beast was of the male species but had no testicles? I asked her how they can breed without them. She casually explained that she had had the testicles removed. I shuddered at the thought and began to wonder about this woman I had been assigned to observe.Apparently this sadistic streak runs in the family, her daughter who claims to be the owner of the smaller of these beasts also has its testicles removed? Another interesting observation i have made is the little beast they keep here at home. They call her Smillan. It is allowed to sleep in their beds, sofa etc and i was once asked to take it for a walk. I was given small plastic bags to collect faeces in if it were so obliged. I asked her if i should then go dump it on the mountain of shit near the barn? But no! apparently this shit was not as valuable and i was to toss it in a garbage bin. "why not just leave it on the grass and use it to fertilize the earth" I asked. She explained that someone may step on it??? god forbid if someone hurts the little lump of shit. I will continue this report tomorrow. I do not want to miss seeing this womans father cut the heads off 200 birds then pluck all their feathers off their warm bleeding bodies. I know I know! sounds like a fucking mad one doesnt he:)

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